duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
