I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
