just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
