I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
