In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sacagawea was the original milf.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize