I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
there is puke in my bra ... again
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
