I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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