Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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