great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
