I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
