So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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