I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
