saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
