You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
