I am spending my child support on dildos
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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