shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
