Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
