when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
