As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
