tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dear god my vagina.
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