A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize