he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
