You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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