nut hugger
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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