and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
