Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
