Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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