I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
