areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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