he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
