how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
