Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
