i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
