There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
