Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
