So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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