Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
