Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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