it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
