And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
