don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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