Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
