I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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