glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
