Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Randomize
