Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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