ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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