Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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