One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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