I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize