I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
