So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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