the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
is this the sara with the beer cane?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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