White coat. Heels.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Found the puke drawer
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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