do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
