i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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