Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
