I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
