It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
